English Recordings

If you park your car in the wrong place, a traffic policeman will soon find it. You will be very lucky if he lets you go without a ticket. However, this does not always happen. Traffic police are sometimes very polite. During a holiday in Sweden, I found this note on my car: 'sir, we welcome you to our city. This is a "No Parking" area. You will enjoy your stay here if you pay attention to our street signs. This note is only a reminder.' If you receive a request like this, you cannot fail to obey it!

The secretary told me that Mr. Harmsworth would see me. I felt very nervous when I went into his office. He did not look up from his desk when I entered. After I had sat down, he said that business was very bad. He told me that the firm could not afford to pay such large salaries. Twenty people had already left. I knew that my turn had come.
'Mr.Harmsworth,' I said in a weak voice.
'Don't interrupt,' he said.
Then he smiled and told me I would receive an extra thousand pounds a year!

I had an amusing experience last year. After I had left a small village in the south of France, I drove on to the next town. On the way, a young man waved to me. I stopped and he asked me for a lift. As soon as he had got into the car, I said good morning to him in French and he replied in the same language. Apart from a few words, I do not know any French at all. Neither of us spoke during the journey. I had nearly reached the town, when the young man suddenly said, very slowly, "Do you speak English?' As I soon learnt, he was English himself!'

The Greenwood Boys are a group of pop singers. At present, they are visiting all parts of the country. They will be arriving here tomorrow. They will be coming by train and most of the young people in the town will be meeting them at the station. Tomorrow evening they will be singing at the Workers' Club. The Greenwood Boys will be staying for five days. During this time, they will give five performances. As usual, the police will have a difficult time. They will be trying to keep order. It is always the same on these occasions.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

People will do anything to see a free show -- even if it is a bad one. When the news got round that a comedy show would be presented at our local cinema by the P. and U. Bird Seed Company, we all rushed to see it. We had to queue for hours to get in and there must have been several hundred people present just before the show began. Unfortunately, the show was one of the dullest we have ever seen. Those who failed to get in need not have felt disappointed, as many of the artistes who should have appeared did not come. The only funny things we heard that evening came from the advertiser at the beginning of the programme. He was obviously very nervous and for some minutes stood awkwardly before the microphone. As soon as he opened his mouth, everyone burst out laughing. We all know what the poor man should have said, but what he actually said was: 'This is the Poo and Ee Seed Bird Company. Good ladies, evening and gentlemen!"

Our neighbour, Captain Charles Alison, will sail from Portsmouth tomorrow. We'll meet him at the harbour early in the morning. He will be in his small boat, Topsail. Topsail is a famous little boat. It has sailed across the Atlantic many times. Captain Alison will set out at eight o'clock, so we'll have plenty of time. We'll see his boat and then we'll say goodbye to him. He will be away for two months. We are very proud of him. He will take part in an important race across the Atlantic.

The New Year 2012 has started, and I feel fresh air, fresh ideas and fresh energy.

Happy New Year to everyone! From my home to yours, I hope this year brings you new dreams, new aspirations, new opportunities and new joys!!!

Although I know it sounds boring to ask you about your New Year resolution, which is kind of a "run-of-the-mill" thing every year, I can't help but ask.

Have you already listed it? For me, it still lacks detail or specifics, but I have got a general outline of it in mind.

In short, I expect to revolutionze myself mentally； what I mean is, a change in my way of thinking.

I have occasionally found myself leaning toward negative images in various situations. The feelings that would come out subconsciously were worry, fear, irritation, disappointment, and so on. To my joy, I have learned how to shift those feelings to positive feelings, such as love, gratitude, hope and excitement from one of my friends. This year will be the time of practicing it for me.

My "fire" has been rekindled! I am excited about the new me. （^^）

Hope you all have a wonderful year!!!

I wrote this piece and would like to know what you think about it.Is it natural-sounding or did i make any mistake?Criticism is welcomed.

Life has never been easy for us,whether you are a wild animal in the Amazonian rainforest or a typical Chinese parent struggling to make ends meet and send your children to college or the president of the United States.It's just like the slogan on the president's desk "Hard things are hard".When we looked back the history,we found out that we have overcomed countless wars and conflicts,natural and human-made disasters,genocide and all kinds of humanitarian crises,and other threats that many of us never heard of,but still we harnessed the nature to our advantage,ceased the wars and stand ready to usher in a peaceful and prosperous future.I think that's who we are and what we shoud be.So whenever you find yourself have been lost in life,remember all the greatness and wonders that humankind has achieved,all the role models and heroes that lie deeply in your heart,remind yourself to be nothing but the best of your kind.And this is how we carry on our journey and summon what it needs to face the challenges that nobody has faced before.

「元日」VS「元旦」

Do you know the difference between "元日" and "元旦"?
「元日」と「元旦」の違いをご存じでしょうか。

"元日" means New Year’s day, while "元旦" (on the other hand) refers to the morning of New Year’s day.
「元日」が1月1日を意味するのに対し、「元旦」は「元日」の朝を指します。

My guess is that there are quite a few Japanese people who are unaware of the difference.
多くの日本人はこの違いを分かっていないのではないでしょうか。

Actually, to my shame, even though I (myself) am Japanese, I had not known this until I read an article about it last year.
実を言うと、恥ずかしいことに私も昨年あるコラムを読むまでそのことを知りませんでした。