English Recordings

Hello, this is Dan Rather for the BBC, today is a cold day in Britain. It is snowing in Scotland with temperatures around 0 degrees Celsius. It’s raining in the North of England and in Wales. It’s cloudy in the South West but there is no rain. The temperatures are about 5 degrees Celsius. It’s raining in the Midlands and it’s windy in East Anglia. It’s sunny in only one region today and it’s in the South East. It’s sunny but very cold…about 2 degrees

I started taking internet English lessons last month, as my purpose of learning English is to be able to speak as fluently as possible. It's a group lesson with one native speaker and some Japanese people, as I can't afford to take one-on-one lessons from native teachers.

There must be pros and cons of taking those kinds of lessons though, for people like me who have never lived in any place other than Japan and don't have any rolling plans to speak English, it comes in handy to have chances to listen and speak English regularly. Thanks to the development of technology, I can do this sitting in front of my computer.

Since I started taking the classes, I've seriously tried to memorize new words and phrases because I need lots of vocabulary to discuss various topics there. It's like a discussion class conducted on the phone without a web-camera. I want to have a constant flow of words and phrases without pausing. It's hard to achieve it with my current skills though, I don't want to give up.

Improving my speaking skills seems like to be an everlasting challenge of mine.

^0^

Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.
We reflect on their past mistreatment.
We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were Stolen Generations – this blemished chapter in our national history.
The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page, a new page in Australia's history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.
We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.
We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.
For the pain, suffering and hurt of these Stolen Generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.
To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.
And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.
We the Parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be received in the spirit in which it is offered as part of the healing of the nation.
For the future we take heart; resolving that this new page in the history of our great continent can now be written.
We today take this first step by acknowledging the past and laying claim to a future that embraces all Australians.
A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.
A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.
A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.
A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.
A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.

39 One day, little Billy comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom.　He opens the door and sees his father, who had also come home for lunch, lying on top of his mother...they were both naked, and heavily into the act of lovemaking.　They see little Billy, but don't want to traumatize the boy, so the parents continue as if nothing was wrong.　Billy watches for a few moments asks, "Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsie-ride?" His father replies, without hesitation, "Of course son, we're a family!" So Billy climbs on his dad's back, and after a few more minutes his mother begins moaning and writhing wildly.　Hang on daddy, cries Billy,...This is the part where me and the mailman usually fall off!
40 Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious-looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" I don't have to, the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."

37 During her annual checkup, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. Doctor, she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." That's all right, said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?" 　Your clothes? answered the doctor. "Put them over here, on top of mine!"
38 A young, promising medical student decides to specialize in sexual disorders and goes to visit a facility which has just accepted him as an intern. One of the resident physicians takes him on a tour of the hospital.All of a sudden, they pass a booth with a young man there masturbating furiously. The intern turning to his superior asks about the man's problem.The resident responds, "Oh, that man has an enormously over-active sex drive and has to have twenty orgasms a day or he becomes seriously ill."　They move on through the hospital and eventually come upon another man in a booth with his pants down around his ankles and a beautiful blonde nurse on her knees in front of him lustily servicing him. The intern inquiring to this man's trouble, the resident replies, "Same problem, better health plan."

35 The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
36 A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge." Yes, I know, said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients."

33 A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. What's up? he asks. I'm having a heart attack, cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You bastard!!! says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"
34 My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is." I asked her what it was, and she told me there was water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, "You know, I don't mean this offensively, but you don't know the carburetor from the accelerator." No, there's definitely water in the carburetor, she insisted. OK Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it? In the lake.

31 A beautiful young girl was about to undergo a minor operation. She lay on a rolling bed and the nurse brought her into the corridor. Before entering the room, the nurse left her behind the surgery room door to go in and check if everything was ready. A young man wearing a white coat approached, took the sheet away and began examining her naked body. He walked away and talked to another man in a white coat. The second man came over and did the same examination. When a third man started examining her body very closely, she grew impatient and asked, "These examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?" The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders and told her, "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."
32 A wife arriving home after a shopping trip, was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing. Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator. Her shoes were wornout so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn't wear because they were out of style. She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wear because the color didn't suit you. Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore. Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your wife doesn't use anymore?' So, here we are!

29 A boy and his Father visiting from a third world country were at The Mall of America. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.　The boy asked his Father "What is this Father?". The Father responded "Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is!".　　While the boy and his Father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a voluptuous 24 year old woman stepped out.　The Father said to his son "Go get your Mother"
30 A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.　After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."　The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

27 A man and his wife were having a heated argument at breakfast.　As he stormed out of the house the man angrily yelled to his wife, "You aren't so good in bed either!"　By midmorning, he decided he'd better make amends and phoned home.　After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answers the phone.　What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?　I was in bed.　What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?　Getting a second opinion.
28 Two Women waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. How'd you die? the first woman asks the second. I froze to death, says the second. That's awful, says the first woman. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" It's very uncomfortable at first, says the second woman. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually,it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kinda drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you,how did you die?" I had a heart attack, says the first woman. "You see, I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone, watching TV. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second woman shakes her head. "That's so ironic," she says. What do you mean? asks the first woman. If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive.