English Script Request

Hello, youtube Truesday 92 and a lot of people have been asking me when I am going to make another accents video. Mainly friends and family, but also a lot of people who liked the first video. Uh, so basically, I put this one together. This time, it's a remake of my old video, except I've added some new accents and also I've tried to improve some of my old ones.

But mainly my friend Chris aka CmOrigins has animated each accent ... so yeah, hope you enjoy it.

1. Listen mate, I know you like t' (to) chop down trees for a hobby but, come on, your 'aving (having) a laugh in't ya (ain't you)? I mean, look what ya done to Terry's van. He's gonna do his nut when he see that. And you, you're gonna get nicked for vandalism. I'm telling ya mate, you ain't right in the head.

Eh, you managed to hear my new ramble. Still, proper London thing, straight out of the ghetto. Goes like this, yeah yo. Man's cat got stuck up in a tree so man went to rescue man's cat from a tree but man got stung by a bumblebee, oh, I'm just going with the flow, man says wild one. I say yo, oh, I got arrested by the feds, accused of jacking bikes from garden sheds, but they had no evidence, so they had to let man go.
Oh, that was so sick.

I've been a motivational speaker for years! People like to criticize my methods, but it's not like my motivational speaking is hurting anybody. People can hardly motivate themselves, now can they? You're all very much like this apple, a shadow of your former self rotten to the core. So what do you do? You throw yourself in the bin, and when you reawaken in the landfill site, you will feel revitalized and ready to conquer the world.

-One is rather relieved that one does not have to reside in an area where one is subjected to gang culture.
-Yes. Nosy areas where underclass youth run wild.
-Hey, who you callin' underclass, bloke? Come say that to my face, (fam)?
-What are you doing here? This is not your accent. Security!
-Let go of me, man! Hey watch! Me and my men will come to your mansion and rumble your 17th century paintings, (fam)!
-More tea?
-No, I think we should open a bottle of the finest champagne.

-Yo, (ayid), man! Why's your goldfish staring me like that for?
-It's like he's hungry or something, like he wants to eat me. Are you sure that you don't have a piranha in disguise?
-No, man, he just likes swimming. He wants to be your friend.
-Bro, why would I want to be friends with a goldfish though? It's not like he does anything. He just swims around in a circle all day. He doesn't even know how to use a phone, anything like that.

Alright, that's it. I've had just about enough of you lot. First you start making crop circles in my field. Then you start abducting my cows and my chickens, and then you take my tractor away from me, and then you abduct me. Just so you know, I'm not having it. There must be some kind of intergalactic law against this kind of stuff, right? I recon' I could sue you lot for every penny you have. Hang on, what?

Doctor, please. I need your help. I can't remember nothing. I can't remember my name, I can't remember my family, I can't remember where I live. I know I live somewhere in northern England, but I can't quite remember what part. You've gotta help me, doc.

8. So basically I'm very passionate about penguins and that and so I decided, you know, to help them cos like the environment and the polar ice caps are melting and that. So I thought maybe if I dress up as a penguin and like try and collect some money, I could like save 'em and that.

9. Hello people, today I'm going to be showing you how to make a great British classic - the Yorkshire pudding. Now firstly you have to go down to the local supermarket and purchase some frozen ready-made Yorkshires. Then you put them in the oven, turn a few knobs and wait patiently. And before you know it, they're ready for your Sunday roast.

10. If you wee kids don't eat your vegetables, the green giant'll come round your house and stamp on all your toys. That's right, little Jimmy. You see that wee plastic truck of yours? It'll be smashed to bits if you don't eat your broccoli. And you little Jessica, your Barbie doll'll have a terrible accident if you don't eat your sweetcorn.

11. People tend to think I'm crazy because I'm the only Welsh National Party supporter in the village. But I'm telling you, they won't be laughing for long when Wales does get her independence. Neither will England or Scotland, or the whole of the UK. In fact, after the upcoming the Welsh revolution, the British Isles will be renamed the United Kingdom of Great Wales and Northern Wales.

12. Right, listen to me. I'm really losing my patience with you lot. Right, firstly I can't even understand you. And secondly, I've told you lot 800 times, my customer reference number is 2859 and I am one angry customer. I'm telling you, I'm coming for you mate. You better believe it. You better believe your entire company is going down mate.

13. You know what I'd love? To have my own personalised Irish GPS system. You know, one that talks to me like I can understand it. "At the next set of traffic lights, turn right. Continue for three thousand miles. Then turn left." It'll also come with special features. "Attention. The Garda is in pusuit. Pull over to give yourself up, or turn right for an alternate escape route."

(Note: the Garda is the name of the Irish police force.)

14. "So, she's yours for two million bucks."
"Two million dollars? For that old pile of crap? Are you kidding me? It looks like it's gonna fall apart the moment I start the engine."
"Maybe I forgot to tell you about the hidden mechanism."
"Hidden mechanism?"
"Yeah, you know, the one where it transforms into a killer robot?

So. Yours for two million dollars. Deal?"

15. US Italian American

Male voice # 1: Hey boss, happy birthday.

Male voice # 2: A bunny rabbit? A fluffy bunny rabbit? I love fluffy bunny rabbits. Hey, whoever got me this is a made man.

As for you my little furry friend, I'm going to call you Luigi, and I'm going to feed you the finest food money can buy. And, nobody's going to lay a finger on you if they don't want to end up sleeping with the fishes.

Man, this is the best birthday gift ever.

16 US American - Southern States

I've been a sheriff in this quiet southern town for coming on 10 years now, and I'm telling you - there's some crazy stuff here. I don't know why they consider this place a quiet southern town. I've had run-ins with vampires, cannibal rednecks, crazy men with chainsaws. I'm telling you - I can't wait to retire.

Hey there, um, I've always dreamed about going into outer space so I decided to start making my own space rocket right here in my back yard. I mean so far I think I'm doing pretty well. By next week I should be up there on that Moon eating all that cheese. Mary-ann, hurry up with that there moonshine, this is thirsty work.
Hey, every time I'm out with my friends, they're like, hey Dwayne, your voice don't sound legit homie. Y'all sound a little bit white or something like that. I'm like, what, alright dog, man, just 'cause I sound like some white British dude from England trying to impersonate an African American don't mean I ain't legit homie. You need to get your ears cleaned out, fool.

Once upon a time, there was a dog and a horse.

The dog said to the horse, "Hey, I bet I can beat you in a race."

And the horse said, "But I am a horse. I was born to run."

The the dog says, "But I'm a greyhound, so I was also born to run."

So then the horse said, "You know what? Come on, let's have a race, esse!"

But then the dog said, "You know what? I'm tired. Maybe later." The end.

---[end scene]---

Wa-gwaan, people! Me name Derrick. And I'm going to be your tour guide for today. Now, if you look over to your right, you can see a bus sign.

[Unclear]

And if you look over to the left side, you can see a giant beer can statue.

---[end scene]---

I honestly have no idea how this happened. I was just minding my own business, driving along the road. Thought I would stop to sleep, then I wake up there was a tractor beam and before I knew it, I was stuck. And, of course, it would not be such a bad idea if somebody would be kind enough to assist me.

---[end scene]---

Please, my metal detector is wounded. You need to help.

A metal detector cannot be wounded. This, right here, is broken. What you need is one that is of quality German craftsmanship, like this one here. Try it.

Whatever, I don't care! I just want to find treasure.

Today, I show you my ingredients for my special Italian smoothie. All you need to do is get all your favorite Italian dishes: spaghetti bolognese, lasagna, beef cannelloni, pizza. Anything you like, and then you put it in a blender, and there you go. Quality Italian food, on the go.

-(..?) You fools! What have you done?! That's it! I'm calling the police!
-We are the police.
-No you're not! You stole that bike. I'm not stupid.
-Long live our Soviet mother land. [incomprehensible]
-Idiot. Soviet does not exist anymore. It's Russian Federation now, and you're going to jail.
-But I need time machine.
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-Little mousie! Where are you? I know you're there. Come out. I've got a surprise for you. My dear Auntie Reginda has baked you a special piece of naan bread. Very tasty, huh? It's all yours, all you have to do is come out of your hiding place and take a little nibble.....Ow! You little....you may have won the battle, but you have not won the war!
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-Hello. Have you ever wanted to tell the future, but been unable to because of certain circumstances? Well, not to worry. I have my special crystal ball. Her name is Wendy, and she can tell the future with crystal clear precision. Anything you want to know, for just two dollar! You don't need a chinese fortune cookie when you have a Wendy.
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-During the most hard financial times, I will soon have to sell my samurai armor that has been in my family for generations. I already had to sell the sword last month. May the spirit of my ancestors forgive me. I only hope it has gone to a good home.
-Well look what I done found here! Looks like one of them samurai, ninja type swords from Chiner (China) or somewhere. I'm'a have me some fun now!
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-Requesting assistance. We have a drunk and disorderly male causing an obstruction in the road, over.
(Radio sounds)
-No, I don't care if there's an armed robbery going on, this takes priority. We can't lift this guy, he weighs like ten tons. Over.
-I ain't moving for nobody. You're gonna have to get a tow truck in here, mate. Hah hah.
-You know what? That's not such a bad idea, mate.
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-Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, a proud moment in the history of scientific development. We have successfully genetically engineered a chimpanzee to calculate the square root of a banana. Because....
-Monkey sounds..
-No, because the people do not want to hear you Siri. They want to see it in practice, on paper.
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-And so, what have you done to your car? Are you mad? Are you foolish? Look at the state of it! You have completely eliminated this car! What do you have to say for yourself, eh? How can you be driving on the road one second, and the very next second you are crash into a tree, eh? What is this nonsense?
-Father, there was a chicken in the road.
-A chicken in the road? You should have just road-killed the (bat?). Now we are stuck in the middle of nowhere. Idiot!
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And that is everything ladies and gentlemen. I hope you got to enjoy this video, and hopefully you did not get offended or take it too seriously because it was not intended for that. It just a bit of fun, nothing professional or serious, just a bit of fun for youtube, uh. So take it with a pinch of salt. Uh, but I hope you enjoyed, uh, and also, I'm well aware that alot of you are probably like...as was the case with the last video....like, Dude, you forgot my accent! You forgot this..you've missed out Geordie, Brummie, Canadian, New Zealand, Greek, Spanish and 20 billion others. But unfortunately, I'm not able to do every accent, you know? There's to many in the world for one guy to do. I'm not a robot. I'm pretty much...I'm at my capacity at the moment. I can't do no more. I mean, the ones I did include...the new ones...they're still in the prototype stages...well, some of the old ones are still in the prototype stages...but um, I hope you did enjoy the ones that I did do, or kinda done, 'cus I know they weren't all kinda perfect. I mean, opinion's divided, you know. Some people may think they're spot on, other people think they need work, and, you know, it varies. But um...yeah, I hope you did enjoy them, and um...make sure that, most importantly, you check out my friend Christopher. Yeah? He...a.k.a. CmOrigins...he did a very good job with the animations in this video. So, check out..I'm gonna put a link to his channel..you know, somewhere over here I'm going to put a link. And I'm going to put a link in the description so, if you can check out his channel and subscribe to him, you know, because he's a very good animator. And yeah, basically, that's about it. Uh, so yeah...and also, for those of you that are a bit curious about my normal accent...so when I'm not putting on any other accent, the way I normally talk, or..obviously it's like this, so. Obviously I'm British and Southern English. I'm from London but..more specifically, it's a hybrid mix of the first three accents in the video that I did. So predominantly Cockney and RP. You mix them up, and than you get how I talk , uh, naturally. So....yeah. I'd just like to day a huge, huge thank you to everyone who supported me when my first video went viral, and, uh, I apologize for not being that active on Youtube that much recently. I apologize for taking so long to get this one up. But, I really do appreciate all the support, and I wish you all well, and wherever you are, whatever accent you're talking in, may you have yourself a mighty fine day. Peace out.