Remember your mother tucking you in bed and saying, "don't let the bed bugs bite" before she turned off your night light? You probably thought she was kidding. Well, she wasn't kidding.
It's just before dawn. You're in the deepest sleep you'll be in all night and the bed bugs are ready to strike.
Bed bugs once lived in caves and sucked the blood of bats and your prehistoric ancestors. When we left our caves, so did they. They sneak in through the tiniest cracks, the most miniscule openings. They even come in through an outlet. They know where you are because they can sense the carbon dioxide you exhale. You've got something they want: blood. When they get within sucking distance, they use heat sensors on their antennae to find the juiciest place to drill for plasma. An exposed limb is like a flashing neon sign for a free, all-you-can-suck buffet. If nobody does anything, thousands can infest a single bedroom. Like a safe-cracker opening a bolt, the bed bugs finds the perfect spot to hit the blood vein. Bed bugs have to drink blood to stay alive and breathe, and Mother Nature is on the side of the bed bug. The bed bug administers and anesthetic so you don't wake up, as well as anti-coagulant, so your vital life essence will gush freely from your veins.
And, here's a cheery fact: a bed bug can drink three times its weight in a single meal. Talk about your big gulp!
Here's something else to brighten your day: if you've got a serious infestation, you might get bitten five hundred times in a single night. You might get anemia, unlike the bug.
“All done, see you tomorrow sucker!” No, I guess it’s the sucker. You’re the “suckee."
