(laughter)
Interviewer #1: Right, well this should be relatively painless. Scott, you've been with Celecron(?) for three years now, is that right?
Scott: Three years, yes that's right.
Interviewer #2: Uuuuagghh...
Interviewer #1: And during that time you've been responsible for marketing initiatives within your department?
Scott: Broadly, yes. Although, my remit(?) tended to overlap with distribution.
Interviewer #2: Oh, for God's sake!
Interviewer #1: Sorry, I should just point out, Derrick is here to provide what we call, "extreme negative feedback," so that we can assess your ability to cope with stressful situations. Uh, is that alright with you?
Scott: Oh, I, I see. Yes, that's fine.
Interviewer #2: Oh, it's fine is it? As long as it's fine, that's alright then.
Interviewer #3: So, would you care to outline for us...
Interviewer #2: Wanker!
Interviewer #3: ...the main priorities for (inaudible) a successful applicant for this position?
Scott: Well, the main problem, as I see it, has been our over-reliance on our core customers.
Interviewer #2: Yeah, right!
Scott: I mean, obviously, they've got to be looked after...
Interviewer #2: Fanny.
Scott: ...but there's no chance (inaudible) of the company achieving any meaningful growth...
Interviewer #2: Stupid fanny.
Scott: ...in the long, or even medium term, unless we find a way to attract new consumers.
Interviewer #2: Oh, this is all great! This is so great, let me get all this down! (takes out typewriter and starts to type loudly)
Scott: But whether we do that by putting more resources into...
Interviewer #2: Mmmm, absolutely. Yeah!
Scott: (inaudible)...strategies or whether we try to overhaul our whole approach, is, of course, a vexed question.
Interviewer #2: Oh, vexed, yeah that's good; it's all so vexed!
Scott: But, if it's a major rethink we're talking about...
Interviewer #2: Ding! (resets typewriter)
Scott: Then, obviously, we'll need to think carefully...
Interviewer #2: Ding! (resets typewriter)
Scott: ...at next year's budget...
Interviewer #2: Ding! (resets typewriter)
Scott: ...to see what's feasible.
Interviewer #2: Ding, ding, ding!
(laughter)
Interviewer #3: Hmm, that makes sense.
Interviewer #1: Incidentally, you're coping very well with the extreme negative feedback there.
Scott: Well, thanks.
(hit by crumpled paper)
Scott: Think I've got the hang of it now.
(hit by typewriter)
Thanks a lot!!!