English Script Request

Lee: At four fifteen detention gets out, the only problem is, I'm [I am] kinda [kind of] not in detention right now. And yeah, that's [that is] a pretty huge problem.
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Lee: Man, these guys don't [do not] give up.
???: You're [you are] so dead if you don't make it back before detention's [detention is] over.
Lee: I'm [I am] also dead if these cleaner freaks catch me, so tell me something I don't [do not] know.
???: Okay, there's [there is] a drink machine coming up. Hey, grab me a Root Beer
Lee: Why didn't anyone tell me the first day of tenth grade was gonna [going to be] the worst day of my life?!
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Lee's Mom: Move it slow poke! Green means go! This new school year is very important, you get all A's, not like last year. Lee! Pay attention.
Lee: It was one lousy C, mom. In gym! That's [that is] not even a subject, it's [it is] like, some guy's name.
Lee's Mom: Don't [do not] roll your eyes please! Hit the brake Charlie! and don't talk back to your mother.
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Lee's Mom: Forgetting something?
Lee: I was just about to-
Lee's Mom: NO more excuses!
Camillo: Leeee, da [the] (???) man, what is? Sucks that your mom teaches in the same school homes.
Lee: Tell me about it, but this is a new year right?
Camillo: Tenth grade! Welcome to the big times.
Lee: Double digits!
Camillo: Sophomore year.
Lee: Drivers permit, house parties-
Camillo: chiquitas, chiquitas, chiquitas, chiquitas!
Lee: And no more rookie mistakes.
Camillo: Hey! Respect much?
Lee: Dude, you just got pwned ("to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation...I've never heard this before lol) by a mathlete.
Camillo: Yeah, well that wouldn't [would not] happen if we were in an actual posse man. Show some colors, we need some backup in the jungle homes
Lee: Yeah, okay, gangsta. Come on, people know us. We went to grade school with most of these guys. Hey Zed, what's [what is] shakin?
Zed: How should I know? I'm not a...a shakeologist.
Camillo: That was when we were kids. We're [we are] in tenth grade now!
Lee: Yeah, but if we join some clique we gotta [got to] follow their rules. And personally, I don't [do not] wanna [want to] wear 'guy liner'.
Camillo: (???), this is high school little homie slice (???). You can't [can not] just do whatever YOU want. There are rules bro.
Holger: Guys! Guys! It's me, Holger!
Camillo: What is it, what was.
Holger: Oh, you make question of (???) Holger not knows the understand to.
Lee: Camillo wants to know how your summer back home in viking land was.
Holger: Oh! Summer fun, Holger make kiss kiss with girls.
Camillo: Sweetness!
Lee: Bonus!
Holger: Ladies! We make for the disco party time, yes? Holger!
Popular Girl: Who wants to take this one? Brandy?
Brandy: Holger, speaking sie duh? There is no way any one of us would ever be seen anywhere with you or your like totally nobody friends even if it was the hottest party of the year and you were the last y chromosome in existence so like toodles lucio!
Camillo: Wow, harsh. Camillo out! Later homses.
Lee: Hey big guy, at least she knows your name right?
Holger: Ja, she know me! ME! Holgermeister!
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Holger: (???)
Tina: Welcome back Enigma High students to the first day of a new school year. I'm...I'm...
Chaz: She's [she is] Tina Queen and I'm Chaz Mon Iranian and I'm your school news team.
Holger: Lee, Lee, Lee, the girl you want to have the kissy time with! TINA! OH! Sorry Lee. Holger use outdoor voice...
Tina: Anyone notice the mysterious disappearance of last year's school principal? We the student body have a right to know!
Chaz: So true Tina, but don't you frown Enigma High, we're [we are] getting a whole new principle. For an exclusive first look, head straight to the gym straight after lunch.
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Camillo: What up ladies! How's the new year so far?
Holger: Oh, many tribulations this morning, Holger break favorite pencil.
Camillo: Did you see Tina? She looked smoking hot on screen.
Lee: Hey! Hands off!
Camillo: Dude you've [you have] been saying that since like grade five. Make your move already. You should be all like 'Hi, I wanna [want to] see how amazingly informational you are baby'.
Camillo: I'll [I will] get the nurse.
Lee: Sorry, but look now the kitten has a cute purple-
Biffy: That kitty has a name.
Vice Principal Victoria: Biffy T. Goldstein, goodness, you let go of that poor defenseless little student right this minute.
Biffy: Sorry Vice Principal Victoria.
VP Victoria: My my, looks like we're starting the year off on the wrong foot. So why don't you take the right foot for a little trip down to detention after school. And on the first day.
Camillo: I could say I was about to jump in there, but I'd [I would] totally be lying.
Lee: Whatever, what kinda [kind of] loser gets detention on the first day? Oh, watch my stuff, I gotta [have got to] whiz.
Tina: Attention students! We've [we have] just received-
Chaz: Breaking news! Back off Tina. Your new principal is IN the building. Go to the gym, pronto!
Lee: Oh man!
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Lee: Oh okay, my wicked need to leak has now upgraded to evil.
Camillo: Hey, check it, Tina.
Barrage: Listen up you snot nose baggy pants wearing maggot puddles of vomitized puke! Scrubbing through life like it's some kind of mini mall! Drinking your fancy lody da chocolate mocha with the peaches and cream (???) or whats it on the side of your what tos it. Well! Sip it up! (???) Joes and Josie's, cause Principal General Barrage is in command. (I would not use any of that as a way to learn English lol, I could barely understand what he is saying)
Camillo: Awe, the new principal could use a hug. Know what I'm sayin?
Barrage: SOMETHING FUNNY MR.MERRY UNDERPANTS!
Camillo: He did it.
Lee: Can you bring it down a notch? Tryin to focus here. Ah, pee level dropping, evil, wicked, mean, okay, nice...
Barrage: Who in tarnation is beeping!
Popular girl: What is that!
A Girl: Who said that?
Holger: Holger dance!
*chaos*
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Lee: What are you playing in there?
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*more chaos*
Barrage: YOU DID THIS! Not one day, not one week, not even one month. You boy are sentenced to ONE FULL YEAR OF DETENTION
Lee: But sir, I was in the washroom the whole time, it couldn't [could not] have been me
A Girl: The beeping! It's happening again! Hide!
A Boy: It's coming from over there!
Barrage: Who's bag is this!
Lee: It kinda [kind of] looks like...mine.
Barrage: If you didn't do it, why do you have blueprints for the school, schematics of the sound system, and recipes for stink bombs? You think this is funny, well let's [let us] see what a knee slapper it is reporting to the sub basement every single day at fifteen fifteen. That's three fifteen p.m. for you yogurt eatin [eating] tree huggers.
Camillo: Everyone is going to hate him and us, because we hang with him.
Holger: Ja, but at least his mummy still loves him.
Lee's Mom: When you get home, you go straight to your room! You are grounded for a full year Lee!
VP Victoria: Principal Barrage, maybe we should cancel class for the rest of the day. I think everyone could use a good, clean shower.
Barrage: No Vice Principal Victoria, we might smell like Sam Hill, but this is Enigma High. We stay the course here so Mr. Ping here can get his three fifteen detention. Dismissed!
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Camillo: Hold up, I got small-ish legs!
Lee: I gotta [got to] go, I gotta get to detention before someone kills me!
Holger: How did Lee Ping make school go (???)? How? How?
Lee: I didn't [did not] do it Holger!
Holger: Okay, Holger makes secret face.
Camillo: But your bag (???), it was right there and the stuff. It's [it is] like I don't even know my best friend anymore.
Lee: Does this look like mine?
Camillo: Who knows? Maybe it's [it is] all part of your new secret life.
Lee: Seriously dude, come on. Would I even try to pull off something this epic without your help? Or start wearing bras without telling you?
Camillo: Okay, point taken, you didn't [did not] do it. But they don't [do not] know that.
Cool dude: Killer song you made for that prank man.
Camillo: Whoa! I thought he was totally gonna twist you up into a guitar and burn you on stage. This is kinda [kind of] the opposite of what I thought was gonna happen.
Guy Liner: Hey Ping, my dad's [dad is] totally gonna sue you for ruining my clothes.
Camillo: Yeah, I pictured more of that, with a 160% more punching.
Zed: Hey! Bro! Total supremacy brah!
Camillo: Now I'm [I am] so confused. Hold up! I think I figured it out! This might be the greatest thing to ever happen to us bro!
Lee: Do you have a head injury? I gotta [have got to] spend every day in detention and then I'm grounded.
Camillo: Bro, you might actually be the most popular kid in school now. That means we look cool next to you looking cool and that's, yeah, cool. So let's not be uncool with the whole I'm innocent thing, okay?
Tina: Lee! Tina Queen with Enigma High News, looking to secure an exclusive on the scoop of the day.
Lee: Uh, hey, hi. What?
Chaz: Chaz Mon Iranian.
Tina: Chaz, I've [I have] got this one!
Chaz: No you don't! Come on Ping, how'd you do it, student minds wanna know, we are thirsty for it.
*Chaz and Tina tussle for a bit before Tina girl bosses Chaz to the ground*
Tina: Really Lee, give me the scoop!
Camillo: How did my man, Lee Ping, pull off the biggest, baddest, most kick booty prank in High School history? Is that your question?
Holger: How come you use 1928, black and white camera, with reflex viewing, and 9.5 millimeter gauge?
Camera boy: Well we lost the other one back in the gym. Sucks cause I caught the whole thing on video. Everything!
Lee: The whole thing! The gym! Are you serious?!
Brandy: Leaping!
Lee: It's Lee Ping!
Brandy: That thing you did today, totally hot, bumped your rep (reputation) to like, ceiling maximus. So we, me and you, are totally going around now fyi (for your information).
Lee: Around? fyi? What?
Brandy: Hello, we're dating, duh! You're my man, so be good to me. You know, when people are watching and stuff.
Barrage: Party's [Party is] over! Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life!
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Biffy: That was the craziest thing I've ever seen!
Lee: But I didn't do it.
Biffy: Of course not, you don't have the devious mind, skills, or the physical know-how to plot such epic archaic righteous chaos.
Lee: If I wanted to, I could.
Biffy: Nah, it's not your style. No offense, but you're [you are] just not that hardcore.
Lee: What's [what is] his deal? Doesn't he- (without the contraction it would be 'does he not...')
Biffy: Nope.
Lee: I gotta [have got to] get outta [out of] here. I need to get to the gym and get this camera that can prove I didn't [did not] do it, or...
Holger: Very good, what!? How many thumbs do you have? Oh no! You could (???)
Camillo: Dude, you're weird!
Lee: Camillo pick up!
Biffy: No big whoop, just grab the tape after detention, once everyone sees it you're cleared.
Lee: Yeah, but it won't [will not] be there after detention. There's [there is] like these psycho cleaner freaks in there!
Biffy: Welp, escape is always an option.
Lee: What about sleeping ugly?
Biffy: What is your obsession with him? I told you, he never wakes up! HEY! YOUR FACE IS ON FIRE! Trust me, you could walk right out that door.
Lee: And what if Barrage catches me?
Biffy: Well, if we knew where he was...you could avoid him and get back here before he found out.
Lee: And how are we gonna [going to] do that?
Biffy: Hello, it's the twenty-first century! I'll plant a confiscated phone on him, and I can track his GPS. Oh nice catch, hold out both your phones.
Lee: Biffy, why are you helping me?
Biffy: I could give you a beating if you prefer.
Lee: I vote for helping.
Biffy: Okay, they're [they are] hot synced. Forty-three minutes to get to the gym and back. Man! This is like a spy movie or something! Wait, but wouldn't that make me-
Lee: The computer nerd? Sure looks that way. I'm here, do your stuff.
Barrage: Booya! Confiscated!
Biffy: Got him. Gym time! Now I know a shortcut, head up the stairs and hang right.
Lee: Locked! My mom's right here! Did you set me up?
Biffy: Easy captain paranoid. Try the entrance behind the stage, 'round the corner.
Lee: Ha Ha, come on!
Biffy: Kick the lower left corner, then bump your shoulder into it. Whoa! Uh, Barrage is coming back, he's [he is] on his way! He's like super close!
Lee: Where should I go? Hello? Hello?! What a jerk!
Biffy: Oh! oh, false alarm. And hey, keep trash talking me and I'll [I will] feed you to Barrage. Got it?
Lee: It's [it is] gone! Who is that guy? NO!
Biffy: You got it?
Lee: No, it's the wrong one. Hey you! Stop! Awe, where'd [where did] he go? Hello? You there? Crap! Gotcha [Got you]. All this trouble for a camera.
Biffy: Still alive? Okay left, now!
Lee: Which way now?
Biffy: Yo, Lee! Barrage is gettin [getting] real close! Uh, hello? Hello? Leeeee, can you hear me?
Lee: Yeah, hey, welcome back. I'm screwed!
Biffy: Yeah, I know, look up.
Lee: A vent?
Biffy: You wanna make it back or not?
Lee: There's somethin [something] in there.
Biffy: It's probably just a rat.
Lee: Yeah, something killing a rat.
Biffy: UGH, whatever, go already. Left. Keep going. Dude! He's coming, he's almost here!
Lee: What! You gotta [got to] be kidding me!
Biffy: He's here...!
Barrage: Open this door! Stat!
Biffy: Wow, this door is being bad! That's a, that's a bad door! Open. Hurry up!
Lee: Come on!
Barrage: Stand back soldier! I'm takin [taking] her down!
Biffy: Drop down!
Lee: The tazzle worm!
Biffy: Let me try it again! I'll push and you pull, k?
Barrage: Dismissed! And Ping, we'll see you, tomorrow.
Lee: Imagine what could be on here!
Biffy: It could be a clue! Or it could be pics from a chick slumber party. Either way we'd [we would] win. Alright, see ya tomorrow.
Lee: You're [you are] gonna be here?
Biffy: Yeah of course. Gotta [have got to] finish my sweater. (haha, me)
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Lee: If I'm ever gonna get my life back, I need to know who planned this thing so I can prove to that half cyborg principle and my mom that I didn't [did not] do it. Finally. Let's [let us] see what we got. Nothing, nothing.
Camillo: Yo homes, I just realized, if you have detention all year, who am I gonna hang with? Who's gonna be my wingman, who's gonna-
Holger: Holger be wingman!
Lee: Later guys.The tazzle worm? Ew! Whoa! Someone did mess with my bag.
Lee's Mom: Lights out!
Lee: One way or another, I'm gonna find out who did this and nail them.