English Script Request

Loud Man: Hello and this is "Let's Play Yume Nikki." I'm Loud Man, and today I have a guest commentator, Mr. Purple.

Mr. Purple: Hey how's it going? I'm purple.

Loud Man: He's not really, but he could be if he wanted to. Alright, right now we're in that googly eye place, the googly eye door, not the first one, the 1 o'clock one. And I just stabbed this thing...

Mr. Purple: In the face. It's kind of creepy.

Loud Man: In the face.

Mr: Purple: Purple stairs.

Loud Man: Yeah, we're on purple stairs.

Mr. Purple: I like purple.

Loud Man: Yeah, this is the second take actually because the microphone wasn't on, or the mic wasn't on rather, and I don't know why the mic wasn't on because I called him and I told him...

Mr Purple: Yeah, Mike's an asshole.

Loud Man: Mike, Mike is an asshole. Alright.

Mr. Purple: Oh yeah.

Loud Man: This is big purple rubby thing.

Mr. Purple: No, no. That's, like, Mr. Multicolor. And Mr. Multicolor is playing with his (sigh) with his pole. He likes rubbing his pole. We'll watch him rub his pole for a little while. I'm rubbing my pole, rubbing my pole. Want to grab my pole? Nice and smooth. Nice and squeaky. Go on, grab it, try it.

Loud Man: I just love how she's just watching him do it.

Mr. Purple: Oh yeah, this is hot. Grab my pole. No, don't fall asleep. Grab my pole.

Loud Man: The soothing sounds of the pole rubbing.

Mr. Purple: Yeah, well, it's music to her ears, apparently. Um, yeah, grab my pole. I'll knock you down the stairs. You'll have to grab my pole sometime or another.

Loud Man: She could fall into that void that's very dangerous. There's only a railing on one side.

Mr. Purple: Yeah, I know. What the hell's up with that? Safety first.

Loud Man: It's her fault.

Mr. Purple: Couldn't afford it.

Loud Man: It's her fault. It's in her head. It's all her fault.

Mr. Purple: What's with the creepy people, all the way in the background?

Loud Man: They're Aztecs. I guess she's part of, like, an Aztec, um, tribe.

Mr. Purple: She's Japanese!

Loud Man: Japanese/Aztec tribe.

Mr. Purple: Yeah, cuz there's plenty of those.

Loud Man: I'm taking anthropology, okay. I know what I'm talking about.

Mr. Purple: I'm not and I know what I'm talking about. Purple.

Loud Man: I think we're done with this guy. We've had enough of him.

Mr. Purple: He's so smiley.

Loud Man: Let me see if I can... stab him.

Mr. Purple: Dude, turn into a cat. Amuse him. He's happy. Make him happier.

Loud Man: Okay, that, that proved nothing. Uh...

Mr. Purple: Shut up. I'll poke you in the eye.

Loud Man: This isn't your real cat. Oh, I haven't shown you guys long hair yet. She has long hair now. That's basically it.

Mr. Purple: That's pathetic.

Loud Man: This is my door back to the apartment. Nothing different or anything like that.

Mr. Purple: And then out of the blue came black. Then came colors. Bears!

Loud Man: Alright, that, this is a face.

Mr. Purple: This is a giant face that has a striking resemblance to my penis, in fact.

Loud Man: It looks into your soul.

Mr. Purple: (inaudible) Face. Bears. Face. Bears. Face.

Loud Man: And enter.

Mr. Purple: I'm still...