^^
If it's too long, it would be okay upload seperating several files.
45.
Many years ago, psychologists performed an experiment in which they put a number of people in a
room, alone except for a ring toss set. It was one of those children’s toys with a short wooden post held upright on the floor and a bunch of round rings. The subjects were
left alone to amuse themselves as best they could. As expected, with time to kill, they began trying to toss the rings around the post. What the psychologists discovered was that most of the people moved far enough away from the post so that tossing the rings around it was
challenging but not so difficult as to be totally frustrating.
In other words, they deliberately positioned themselves between frustration on the one hand and boredom on the other. The process of alternately producing and relieving
tension was what made the activity stimulating.
Subjects tended to make a ring toss activity stimulating by producing just enough tension through varying the distance to the post so as to balance frustration and boredom.
46-48.
On the wall of our dining room was a framed quotation: “Let me live in a house by the side of the road and be a friend to man.” It inspired in me countless childhood daydreams about meeting new people from exotic places.
I was a child who desperately wanted to connect with others. We did live ‘by the side of the road’ ― on Route 9 between Keene and Portsmouth ― but in a place so remote it was extremely difficult to be a ‘friend to man.’
One day when our family drove into town, I focused intently on the big, paper, grocery store signs advertising the same type of produce that we grew: ‘carrots, 50 cents a
bunch,’ ‘tomatoes, 99 cents a pound.’ Meanwhile, I thought of how the type of ‘imperfect’ produce we ate for dinner, just as healthy as that sold at the store, was often tossed on the compost heap or left in the ground.
The unattractive produce such as crooked carrots and odd-looking tomatoes was not valuable to the grocery store, where only ‘perfect’ produce was sold. But I knew they would have value to people who would chop them into salads or soups, can them, or use them to make pies, because that is what our family did with them. They were fresh and clean and came straight from the good earth.
Why couldn’t others also benefit from that value? I could save people the trouble of going into the store by making my produce accessible at the side of the road, and that
would provide value, too. Surely I could convince people to pay half of what the grocery store charged and to feel lucky about the bargain. Suddenly, I saw a connection between those bumpy vegetables on our table and the quotation on the wall; I found a way to satisfy my longing
for new friends. These homely fruits and vegetables
would become my golden apples.
49-50.
A friend of mine and his wife were in Hawaii, standing on a beach, watching a beautiful sunset ― hardly able to believe how magnificent the sight was. A woman approached them and overheard my friend’s wife say,
“I can’t believe how beautiful this is.” While walking away from the spectacular display, the woman said, “You should have seen it in Tahiti.”
When your attention is not on the present moment but on something else, you will tend to compare even good experiences with others, as the Tahiti traveler did, or you will wonder about future experiences instead of enjoying the present one, and regret past experiences because they are already over. But as you
learn to bring your attention back to the here and now, life will come alive again, providing the enjoyment and satisfaction it was meant to. Thus, when you live in the present moment, one of the nice things that happens to you is that ordinary, everyday life takes on a new significance.
Taking walks, watching a sunset, gardening, reading a book, all begin to feel special. When your attention is brought back to the here and now, you engage in life rather than think about life.
