Moderate speed, please. Thanks!
The gift of giving
The tradition of giving gifts is common to all cultures throughout history. Present giving is important to strengthen our relationship with family and friends on important days like birthdays, anniversaries and religious festivals.
There is a traditional ceremony with native cultures in North America called ‘potlatch’. This is a ceremony to celebrate important events in the community, where the host gives a large
number of gifts to the guests. The family that gives the most presents has the highest status. Potlatch gifts are typically expensive or practical goods, traditional objects such as woollen
blankets and jewellery, and food that can be kept in store.
Some psychologists say it is often the person who gives the present who benefits most because of the pleasure they get from giving a gift that they know will please someone. This could be because it’s very personal or something they know the person will really like. For example, one man climbed a tree to get a bird’s egg that matched his girlfriend’s blue eyes. Another example is a personalised calendar with family photos showing important family events from the previous year.
However, giving a present which isn’t very personal or which isn’t wrapped nicely can make the receiver feel they are not important. One woman said she knew her marriage was over when her husband gave her a gift in a brown grocery bag.
It’s important to be careful when choosing gifts. In most cultures there are some things which it is not a good idea to give as presents. For example, in some cultures, sharp objects like knives or scissors mean the end of a friendship or relationship, so these are not suitable as gifts. In China, clocks are not an appropriate gift because the Chinese word for ‘clock’ sounds like the word for ‘death’. In the UK handkerchiefs are popular gifts, but they’re not a good
present in some parts of the Middle East because it would be considered disrespectful.
In some cultures it’s not just what you give, but how you give and receive it. In many Asian countries, it’s polite to refuse the present three times before accepting it. The person who gives the present will probably say that ‘it’s nothing’ even when it’s obviously expensive. It’s not polite to open a present immediately or when the giver is there. In this way, there’s no chance of embarrassing the giver or the receiver if it is not an appropriate present.
