When we listen deeply, we let go of any beliefs we have about the other person. We let go of our prejudices and past memories of him or her.
Here is an example of deep listening in action.
One day, Julie and Jeff were talking about the possibility of getting together with another couple that lived on the other side of the country. On prior occasions, every time Jeff would bring up the possibility, he sensed that Julie had a resistance to it. This time, she opened the subject. She said, “Let’s talk about getting together with Bob and Celeste.”
“I get the feeling you aren’t sure about getting together with them, is that right?” Jeff asked.
“I’m not exactly sure what’s going on with me about it. Can you just listen to me for a moment till I get some clarity?”
“Sure.” Jeff cleared his mind of his agenda and just listened to her. He opened himself up to seeing a new possibility.
She said, “I want to get together with them, but I just feel like staying home at this point.
After the holidays and all the traveling we did this fall, I don’t seem to be interested in doing anything but staying home. Perhaps they could come here? Maybe we could tell them we’d like to get together and let them know we’d like them to come here.”
“I’m open to that. I’ll call them and take it to the next step and see what happens.”
