English Audio Request

I recently started asking myself whether the "silent treatment" is universal or not.

A couple of days ago, while I was talking with a friend of mine, who is an American lady living in Japan, she brought up the topic of the "silent treatment."

She seemed to have been upset about her Japanese husband giving her the silent treatment for about a week. She also mentioned that two of her American friends had the same problems from time to time with their Japanese husbands. She asked me if it was common for Japanese people to do this when they got upset or angry.

I was at a loss for an answer. I was not sure if it happened just because their husbands were Japanese. However, I understood her feelings because I know that she is more direct and assertive than most Japanese people. She spells out her problems loud and clear most of the time.

Meanwhile, I've had some chances to talk with my Japanese friends about how they would behave or what they would do if they were upset at someone, like their spouse or a friend. Many of them seem to choose to not saying anything.

When you give someone the silent treatment, it means you ignore them, and it is a form of emotional abuse. The person you are snubbing will feel hurt and confused and the relationship will be worse in the end.

At this point in time, since I'm Japanese, I somehow understand why some of my Japanese friends tend to remain silent when they are upset.

There must be some reasons. For one, we are not used to expressing our opinions and feelings, and we don't know how to. Secondly, we tend to avoid arguments by being quiet and waiting for things to work themselves out. That way might look smarter than showing one's thoughts, emotions and feelings in the eyes of Japanese people.

Personally, I can't do this most of the time, especially when it affects people that are important to me and my relationships with them.

Do you think the "silent treatment" is universal?