English Recordings

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, hear and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it's written).
Made has not the sound of bade,
Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak,
Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak

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recordings. You submit a text and someone will record it for you, usually within twenty-four to forty-
eight hours. If your textbook has a list of minimal pairs but doesn’t come with a recording of those

words, you can get someone on Rhinospike to record those words for you. It’s also a lovely place to
get recordings of full sentences with intonation, so if your textbook has some example sentences, put
them up on Rhinospike as well.

I’m going to talk to you about my favorite Banksy’s artwork, called ‘‘the son of a migrant from Syria’’. It was painted in the Calais refugee camp, in France. It was a refugee camp where migrants waited to enter the United-Kingdom. (short pause)

In this painting, we can see Steve Jobs. He was the founder of Apple, a very famous technology company selling computers, phones etc. The company is still very successful and Steve Jobs was very rich, he was a billionaire ! (short pause)

In the painting, Steve Jobs is holding a computer and a bag. He is obviously leaving the place in a hurry, just like immigrants often have to do. (short pause)

This artwork is surprising and thought-provoking. Banksy denounces the way immigrants are often treated and the difficult conditions they live in. They are often denigrated by the society. Banksy also raises awareness about the fact that immigration can be a good thing and a great addition to society, just like Steve Jobs’ history : he was the son of a migrant from Syria and he became very successful in the United-States. (short pause)

I really think it is a great artwork because it is very well done, it is very qualitative and it conveys a strong message : it can give hope to the other migrants in Calais. However, the conditions to enter the United-Kingdom are so harsh for them that they might just be sent back to their countries without having the possibility to try a new life in a new country. In my opinion, that’s very sad and unfair.

(Jughead): Arch, tell Betty the "Tomato Surprise" story!
(Betty): "Tomato Surprise"
(Archie): Yeah! It seems that every year my dad tries to grow tomatoes in a little
garden and he really works hard at it! He buys all kinds of plant food to
feed them!
.....................

(Jughead): So, your plants pig out again, eh Mr. A?
(Archie): Yes! Those little leafy guys eat better than we do!
(Archie’s father): Okay, scoff if you must, but THIS year I,m going to have a successful
garden!
Yes! These are their favorite stories: "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn", "The
Grapes of Wrath" and "Splendor in The Grass"
Here's a list of instructions on how to take care of them"
(Archie): Okey, dad! Don't worry, I'll take good care of your garden while
you´re away!
(Archie’s father): Do you have the number where to reach me in case they get sick?
(Archie): Yes, dad! Don't worry!
........................
So, a few days later...

(Jughead): You have to read to them? Couldn't you just show them video Tapes?
(Archie): These plants should have bloomed by now!
These are even more pitiful than last years! Dad goofed again!
(Jughead): I don't know why he has such trouble growing tomatoes!
My uncle Ned has a large farm just outside town. And he grows
beautiful tomatoes!
(Archie): Jug, do you think your uncle would sell me one or two plants?
(Jughead): I don't know we could ask him!
(Archie): We could transplant them here! Dad would be so happy!
(And so, we went to Jug's uncle's and bought some blooming plants)

................................
(Archie): How do you like these, mom?
(Archie's mother): Oh, Archie, they're beautiful! You'd better hurry and transplant
them! Your dad called from the airport! He's on his way!
(Jughead): We finished just in time! Your dad just arrived!
(Archie's father): I´m almost afraid to ask how my garden turned out!
(Archie): Dad, you'll love it! You'll really be amazed!
(Archie's father): I will?
(Jughead): Well, what do you think of THOSE tomatoes, Mr. A.?

.................................
(Betty): I'll bet your dad was really surprised!
(Jughead): He sure was! Right, Arch?
(Archie): Yeah..
You see, it seemed that he had given up on planting tomatoes...
....so THIS YEAR he had planted PETUNIAS!

Hi ! It’s NAME (male or female depending on the voice) from roomie.com. Thank you so much for your voicemail. We’re happy to hear you’re interested in our ad. Regarding the flat, you’ll obviously have an individual room, but there are only two bathrooms in the apartment. So, we decided there would be one for girls and one for boys. Hope it’s ok. Pets are allowed, as long as they are clean, don’t destroy any furniture and don’t take up too much space. We are ok with smoking but it’s better if you do it on the balcony. Now, we hope this answers most of your questions, if some are left unanswered, feel free to ask them when we’ll meet for the interview. We are looking forward to know more about your personality. Oh and I almost forgot, as you know, cleanliness is very important in a big flat such as ours, so we’ll also need to discuss chores. See you soon !

- Good morning Miss!
- Good morning! Welcome to our shop. Can I help you?
- Yes, please. I need to buy some school supplies for my daughter.
- Okay. What do you need?
- I need an eraser, a pencil case and a French English dictionary.
- Okay. I have some erasers and some pencil cases. But I don't have any dictionaries. I'm sorry.
- No problem. I also need a new backpack. How much is this one?
- It's fifteen pounds sixty.
- I'll take this backpack, an eraser and a blue pencil case please. How much do I owe you?
- £21 please
- Here you are.
- Thank you.
- Have a nice day. Goodbye!
- Have a nice day. Bye!

Clap - Dance - Lift - Run - Train - Write - Color - Fall - Mime - Score - Turn - Cry - Fight Play - Throw - Use

Do's: Always be in Character - Maintain Constant Motion - Read the Crowd & Situation - Take Frequent Breaks - Have Fun

Don'ts: Don’t Change in Public - Don’t Misrepresent Your Brand - Don’t Overexert Yourself - Don’t Talk While in Costume - Don’t Pick Up Kids

The Maoris are the indigenous people of New Zealand. Read the text and label this Maori dancer. Finally discover the name of his dance! This traditional Maori war dance is performed by a group on celebrations, ceremonies and important events. The participants chant, cry and grunt. They dance using their hands, arms, thighs, knees, feet, voices, eyes, tattoos, and tongues. The All Blacks rugby team performs this dance before each match. The players show the whites of their eyes and pull out their tongues. They slap their hands against their bodies, and they stamp their feet. Their goal is to intimidate the opposing team and show they are very strong and determined to win.

Martians invade earth.

Incredible as I may seem, it has been confirmed that a large martian invasion fleet has landed on earth tonight.

First vessels were sighted over Great Britain, Denmark and Norway already in the late evening from where, as further reports indicate, the fleet headed towards the North Pole and Santa Claus was taken hostage by the invaders.

Afterwards they split apart in order to approach most major cities around the earth. The streets filled as thousands fled their homes, many only wearing their. pajamas.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a million pounds? Or a billion?
How about a trillion? Or even a gazillion? Meet Joe Spud.

Joe didn’t have to imagine what it would be like to have loads and loads and loads of money. He was only twelve, but he was ridiculously, preposterously rich.
Joe had everything he could ever want.

100-inch plasma widescreen flat-screen high-definition TV in every room in the house
500 pairs of Nike trainers
A grand-prix racetrack in the back garden
A robot dog from Japan
A golf buggy with the number plate ‘SPUD 2’ to drive around the grounds of his house
A waterslide which went from his bedroom into an indoor
Olympic-sized swimming pool
Every computer game in the world
3-D IMAX cinema in the basement
A crocodile
24-hour personal masseuse
Underground 10-lane bowling alley
Snooker table
Popcorn dispenser
Skateboard park
Another crocodile
£100,000 a week pocket money
A rollercoaster in the back garden
A professional recording studio in the attic
Personalised football coaching from the England team
A real-life shark in a tank

In short, Joe was one horribly spoilt kid. He went to a ridiculously posh school. He flew on private planes whenever he went on holiday. Once, he even had Disneyworld closed for the day, just so he wouldn’t have to queue for any rides.

Here’s Joe. Speeding around his own private racetrack in his own Formula One racing car.

Some very rich children have miniature versions of cars specially built for them. Joe wasn’t one of those children. Joe needed his Formula One car
made a bit bigger. He was quite fat, you see. Well, you would be, wouldn’t you? If you could buy all the chocolate in the world.
You will have noticed that Joe is on his own in that picture. To tell the truth, speeding around a racetrack isn’t that much fun when you are on your own, even if you do have a squillion pounds. You really need someone to race against. The problem was Joe didn’t have any friends. Not one.

Now, driving a Formula One car and unwrapping a king-size Mars Bar are two things you shouldn’t try and do at the same time. But it had been a few moments since Joe had last eaten and he was hungry. As he entered the chicane, he tore open the wrapper with his teeth and took a bite of the delicious chocolate-coated nougat and caramel. Unfortunately, Joe only had one hand on the steering wheel, and as the wheels of the car hit the verge, he lost control.
The multi-million-pound Formula One car careered off the track, span around, and hit a tree.

The tree was unharmed. But the car was a write-off. Joe squeezed himself out of the cockpit. Luckily Joe wasn’t hurt, but he was a little dazed, and he tottered back to the house.
“Dad, I crashed the car,” said Joe as he entered the palatial living room.
Mr Spud was short and fat, just like his son. Hairier in a lot of places too, apart from his head – which was bald and shiny. Joe’s dad was sitting on a hundred-seater crocodile skin sofa and didn’t look up from reading that day’s copy of the Sun.
“Don’t worry Joe,” he said. “I’ll buy you another one.”
Joe slumped down on the sofa next to his dad.
“Oh, happy birthday, by the way, Joe.” Mr Spud handed an envelope to his son, without taking his eyes off the girl on Page 3.
Joe opened the envelope eagerly. How much money was he going to receive this year? The card, which read ‘Happy 12th Birthday Son’, was quickly discarded in favour of the cheque inside.
Joe could barely disguise his disappointment. “One million pounds?” he scoffed. “Is that all?”
“What’s the matter, son?” Mr Spud put down his newspaper for a moment.
“You gave me a million last year,” whined Joe. “When I turned eleven. Surely I should get more now I’m twelve?”
Mr Spud reached into the pocket of his shiny grey designer suit and pulled out his chequebook. His suit was horrible, and horribly expensive. “I’m so sorry son,” he said. “Let’s make it two million.”