hello. natural speed please. and please correct some (if any) phrases that sound unnatural
There comes a time when you have to say; “I have had enough!” You don’t want to give your friend a helping hand. You don’t want to hear a group mate’s plea for immediate advice – all because you have your own goals from which you refuse to be distracted. This is the very moment when you use power, namely the power of no.
Many psychologists, including Adam Grant, the author of “Give and Take”, claim “The ability to say no is one of the most important skills which can help to establish a work-life balance.”
I bet each of you has experienced a tough time when it came to saying no to your family and close friend’s requests. It was hard to put yourself first without feeling guilty. You feared that you might lose that person. Whatever the reason, the fact is that saying yes to too many things is overwhelming and counterproductive.
You should learn to say no if you want to have a happy personal life and make a successful career.
To understand the importance of saying no, we will look first at how it helps to grow personally, then professionally.
You should learn to say no if you want to have a happy personal life.
When you attend to the needs of others you sacrifice your own personal needs. According to James Altucher, the author of “The Power of No”, “assertiveness is a very important trait which protects you from being overwhelmed and overburdened. You won’t end up frustrated and stressed. And as a result, you will be able to say “yes” to the things you enjoy.”
For example, whenever I got requests for help, I would attend to them even though I had important work to do. Sometimes the requests would drag to 2-3 hours or even beyond. After a while, I realized I was spending a lot of time and energy on other people’s needs and not spending nearly as much time on my own. I realized if I wanted more personal time, I needed to say “no”.
I know one may say that if they don’t help their close people, they will hold a grudge and will be not there for them next time.
Yes, it might happen if your relationship is too fragile. You need to evaluate if the relationship is worth keeping. A good friend or an intelligent person will understand you when you say no and give an honest answer to why you have to say no. Sociologists Roger Mayer and James Davis say “’No tests the health and equity of your closest relationships.”
Now as you have learned why you should be assertive to have a happy personal life, let’s look at how no can help you to grow professionally.
You should learn to say no if you want to make a successful career.
As Camille Preston, the author of the book “Eight Ways to Work Smarter” says “It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments – you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.” But requests for your time are coming in all the time – through phone, email, or in person. To stay productive you have to say no. Consider the movers and shakers in the world of business who are really good at saying no.
One could say that there will be situations when you say no to this or that thing – but it turns out to be the opportunity of a lifetime. By saying no you lose that opportunity.
Yes, I agree. It might happen. But as one famous saying says: “opportunities are like trains, there's always another one coming. You just got to be ready for them.”
I hope I have provided you with understanding of the importance of saying no. There is an adage: “Good fences make good neighbors.” It means that people should set firm boundaries. If you want to reach your goals you have to set some boundaries to guard and protect yourself so you can grow both personally and professionally. Say no to people, situations, and commitments that do not move you toward your goal, that distract you, or that you simply do not enjoy. No is a powerful little word with a huge impact. When you say “no”; you’re opening the floodgates to success. Just say no.
