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Koreans Divorce Patterns Undergo Changes
As the times have changed, reasons for divorce have followed suit.
In the old days, patriarchal sentiment within a family used to be the main reason for divorce, but these days, it is mostly about money and equal status between partners, a state-run institute reported Friday.
As more women earn money, they have begun to demand more of an independent role while men have struggled to keep their traditional status, according to the Korean Legal Aid Center for Family Relations.
The center has conducted more than one million counseling services since its establishment in 1956. An analysis of its services also showed the changing lifestyle of families.
"You cannot define what has exactly been going on between a man and a woman but the change of women's role in the family and society has spawned demands for counseling," Kwak Bae-hee, head of the institute, said.
In the 1950s, most women grumbled about their husbands' chauvinistic attitudes.
"When I asked my husband to fetch me something, he said, 'How dare you ask me to run an errand? Didn't you see my mother serving my father like a master?'"
This was a typical response from husbands in the 1950s, Kwak said. Housewives used to say in those days, "If I could be born again, I would like to be a male, even if it is a flea."
Husbands' infidelity or conflicts with in-laws were also common regrets but Kwak noted that not many of them led to divorce.
In the 1970s, when industrialization allowed many women to make money, women did not just mumble to themselves, but confronted their husbands' irregularities. But when demands for democracy were growing in the 1980s, women started to speak louder about their discomforts.
"I've worked hard to make a living but my mother-in-law took away all the money. My husband just sat on the fence. We are not talking to each other anymore," Kwak recalls one woman saying. Some men were reported to have searched for their wives who ran away after quarrels or domestic violence disputes.
In the 1990s through 2000s, the family structure changed. Many males were astounded to find their working wives "drinking with their friends till late at night, or leaving child rearing to the father and going to work every morning," the institute said.
With the Asian financial crisis hitting Korea hard in 1997, many men lost jobs, which left little space for them in the family as bread earners. More women had jobs and they were not afraid to divorce.
"My husband used to make a large sum of money. Then he was made redundant and is staying home every day. He beats me when he is upset. Now that he is penniless, I cannot put up with him," another woman told the counselor.
On the other hand, many men began to complain about the reverse domestic violence ― being beaten by wives or enduring insults for being "financially incompetent."
"It seems that retired males need more support to contribute to the family financially. We plan to hold more education programs for them and will activate counseling programs for couples thinking about divorce," Kwak said.
