English Audio Request

You can read a book, but I don't read for six hours straight even in my own home, which is warm and comfy and has a kettle. So you end up people-watching. You stare at passers-by, idly thinking: "I wonder if that one's a juror? Jeez, I wouldn't want my fate in his hands… He looks like the kind of guy who'll appoint himself foreman… She should perhaps have considered wearing a bra…"
Eventually, you are allocated a case, file into court and are instructed sternly by the judge not to "speculate" on anybody. How odd, to have such a human legal system and issue such an inhuman direction. If one must only consider the facts, coldly and with no emotional reaction to the defendant or the case, why not use professional jurors with a legal background? Why not use computers? We all know what the "British public" are like: weirdos and freaks, the lot of us.
Have a look at your friends, colleagues, neighbours. What kind of jurors would they make? Some of them would probably swell with the sudden power, like bouncers, getting all over-excited and telling everyone else what to do. Some would transform overnight into legal experts – they would take reams of unhelpful notes in court, refer to them earnestly while adjusting their imaginary pince-nez, constantly using the phrase "beyond reasonable doubt" because they've heard it on television.
Some, sadly (and I say this with love for my friends, colleagues and neighbours), would turn out to be morons. They would misunderstand everything they heard and make random ex cathedra statements such as: "Well, you've got to factor in that they're just like that, shopkeepers."
Some would sweep everything into their own personal anecdote. Don't tell me you haven't got a friend like that. Whatever is happening to you, exactly the same once happened to them. Or their cousin. This tendency wouldn't stop at the pub door: they'd still do it as they sat listening to the tale of a professional clown who raided Madame Tussauds by helicopter. ("Ah yes… This reminds me of the time I…")