Natural speed please.
How many friendships will you have had by the time you’re sixty? Friendship is essential for our well-being, and in a recent survey by the insurance company Allianz, one of the most frequent regrets expressed by the elderly was allowing friendships they’d had to fade and die. This may have been inevitable if they and their friends had been growing apart, but if they could have gone back in time, many would have tried to make up with the old friends they’d fallen out with. But how do we maintain the friendships we’ve already made? Dr Anna Akbari, a sociologist and blogger, says that before worrying about maintaining friendships, we should first make sure we have the right ones. We need friends, but we shouldavoid people who are frequently bitter or miserable as this might impact negatively on our mental health. She suggests asking ourselves about the people we’ve been spending time with lately to decide if they really make suitable friends.
Can we confide in them? Do we learn from them? Do they make us happy, at least some of the time? Our friends should help build our confidence, not destroy it.
The friendships that do pass Dr Akbari’s test should be looked after. We may be constantly on the go, but we should find time for our friends. When we spend timetogether, we should make sure we give them our full attention. In other words, put your phone away. Regular contact is also key to maintaining a friendship. We might not be able to get together frequently, but meeting up every few weeks or even months to chill out will help keep the friendship going.
Of course, when we leave school, start work or go off to study, we lose contact with some people and come into contact with others. Friendships change naturally as we progress through life. However, when we get older and look back on the life we’ve lived, it would be good to know that we gave our friendships the attention they deserved.
