If you don't mind, please read it in two paces: the first one in slow mode (A2 level, so that I can focus on phonetic details) and the second one in natural mode so that I can get an idea of the prosody. Thanks in advance :)
No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn.
I sometimes wonder how we manage to communicate at all!
We'll begin with a box and the plural is BOXES.
But the plural of ox should be OXEN, not "oxes".
The one fowl is a goose but two are called GEESE,
Yet the plural of moose should never be "meese".
You may found a lone mouse or a whole set of MICE,
Yet the plural of house is HOUSES not "hice".
If the plural of man is always called MEN,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called "pen"?
If I speak of a foot and you show me your FEET,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called "beet"?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are TEETH,
Why should not the plural of booth be called "beeth"?
Then one may be that and three would be THOSE,
Yet hat in the plural wouldn't be "hose".
And the plural of cat is cats and not "cose".
We speak of a brother and also of BRETHREN,
But though we say Mother, we never say "Methren",
Then the masculine pronouns are HE, HIS and HIM,
But imagine the feminine she, "shis" and "shim",
So English, I fancy you will all agree,
Is the funniest language you ever did see.